I'm A Weiner

I just back from a casino gig in beautiful Coos Bay, OR. It was a fun gig supporting the very funny Milt Abel. After my last casino gig in Pendleton, where they carried the Native American theme through to offering smallpox blankets, the Mill Casino seemed like a fancy dream. Generally, I'm too cheap to gamble, and would prefer to throw my money in the toilet- but I was trying to hide my eyes from the sadness of a five hundred year old woman putting pennies in a slot machine, threw two bucks in a poker slot, and won ten dollars American. I'm a winner, no matter what they said in high school! Ten dollars=PROFIT!

Kelso Wonderland!

Having your name in lights makes you feel important!

Having your name misspelled in lights only slightly less so.

Really and truly, I had a grand time featuring in Kelso for Mark Saltviet.

Can You Help A Bitch Out?

One of my favorite periodicals, Bitch, (come on- this comes as a surprise to no-one) is in a financial pickle. Donations are tax-deductible and will help you sleep at night. Here is the editor and her special friend. http://bitchmagazine.org/donate

Postscript: Looks like they made goal in a jaw-dropping three days! Feminism's not dead, despite Sarah Palin!

Party Pooper

I met this little guy at an adult person's party this weekend. He broke the cardinal rule of drinking parties and fell asleep first. Boy, is he gonna be upset to wake up with a dick on his face! Even his dad was embarrassed to be seen with him, but they had gotten there in the same car and stuff, so he had to drive the shamed baby home.

If you're wondering what's wrong with me, I don't honestly know.

How are my Chicks? Well, they're on Speed.

Chicks on Speed sometimes look like Kraftwerk Orange from the Mighty Boosh.

Alert Consumer Peet pointed out this week that Payless Shoe Source was running an ad with a Chicks on Speed song in it, Fashion Rules. A decade ago I would have spit on the ground and called them traitors or sellouts, but these days I'm not sure there's any such thing. I just felt happy for them that they made money with a great song, and that Payless can sell more cheap-azz vinyl shoes. To me.

Alert Consumer Peet has also pointed out that there is a song on the same Chicks on Speed record called "Sell Out." My brain may explode!

Famously Cheap

My family is very, very, deeply cheap. No, we're not Jewish, we're just trashy, too-many-kids Irish. Growing up, I thought Target was a fancy department store. My mother used to buy our toys pre-broken at yard sales, to save us the trouble of breaking them, and she has never owned a wristwatch worth more than ten dollars. Whenever it was back-to-school time, my dad would peel off a fresh $20 bill and say- knock yourself out. My father's wedding gift to me was a box set of CD's that he had burned for me.
My baby sister Emily is finally making it all pay off on her No Trust Fund blog, and now has an article in USA Today about living on freebies. If only my mother would pony up for high-speed internet, she'd be so proud!

POSTSCRIPT: My mother has announced that she has signed onto highspeed and has resumed her monitoring of badinia.com, and that I should stop making fun of her, and also that I should stop talking so dirty.

Nobody Knows The Trouble I've Seen

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I was on an Oregon Coast road trip with legendary Dallas, TX dance instructor Elaine "Twinkle Toes" Hewlett and started circling places I'd done comedy on the roadmap, so I thought, maybe that would be enjoyable here, too! You can click on each destination for details.

Kumoricomedy!

Kumoricon is an annual convention dedicated to Japanese anime, and features three days of cosplay, video rooms, exhibitors, panels, video games, manga, and bizarre fan creations. We went as Leigh Bowery, who is not from anime, but we got our pictures taken a lot anyhow.

My friend Pete had a special DDR game with 13 songs from his label, Diskowarp, at table 17. Hundreds of barefooted people and one guy in a Furry outfit jumped on my DDR pads, which now must be bleached, and the surrounding booths heard the song "Oh Oh Oh Sexy Vampire" one thousand times.

If extreme dedication, shut-ins in leotards, or nerdiness make you sad, you shouldn’t come to this kind of event -but the DIY costumes, and the clashing of cultures really is something to see: I saw a hundred Links, a couple Howls, one Old Gregg, and dozens and dozens of beautiful Gothic Lolitas. These kids are all communicating with a visual code that I can't understand, but for damn sure they don't want to talk to you. Many of them can't make eye contact, but oddly they will ask for hugs.

Anime nerds in their natural habitat, in the park across from the mall.

How to annoy nerds: Yell at them "We're readin' MAGAZINES!" and take their picture without asking. How to excite them: Yell "Matt Damon!"