Crystal Pepsi, The Soft Drink Sasquatch

Everyone has the story about the dowager aunt with the hard candies molded to the shape of the crystal bowl, but I ran into something else altogether when I had dinner at a friend's father's house on the weekend. His oddly specific brand of hospitality involves keeping many different brands of soda on hand so as to be able to quench a myriad of thirsts. I was rooting deep in the Amana CoolMaster and I found this little beaut- off the market for 13 years, but chilled and ready. I was shocked into silence, as if I had found the carbonated Holy Grail, and could only mouth to others present "It's a Crystal Motherfucking Pepsi."

Of course, no-one wanted it, not anymore than anyone wanted it when it hit the market in the first place, in 1992. And thus, it survives. In Lake Oswego.