Sakura-con 2007- A Spy in the House of Nerd

The author as sad dolly.

I am back from adventure at the 10th Sakura-Con in Seattle, where I witnessed glomping, cosplay, and filking. I have mixed feelings about mocking an anime convention, because on the one hand, it's just nerds trying to lose their virginity while dressed as Japanese manga characters. On the other, there are too many horrors to go undocumented. It is filled with teenagers dressed as their favorite anime and videogame heroes, and I don't know who any of them are, but you see the same ones over and over and eventually develop opinions about whose are better. It's like Halloween, if there were only ten options for things to be. The Sailor Moon population alone could fill a city bus. My favorites were an adorable Black Sailor Moon who knew Para Para Paradise dances, and a boy Sailor Moon, who left and came back at 1AM dressed as a rubber nurse.



I would never, ever make out with anyone dressed as Link from Zelda, nor Mario from Super Mario brothers, but I appear to be in the minority. There were a lot of Marios, but I think this one was the best. There was a little-kid team Mario and Luigi, and their mother was dressed as the princess, which I found disturbing in an Oedipal manner. Or Jocastan, as the case may be.

I'm assuming that this is a cosplay of Mana of Malice Mizer, the "Queen" of Gothic Lolita. He was giant, and had large shoes, and liked having his picture taken.

This is what we call a high-commitment costume. I don't know what it is, but she was not going to speak, eat, drink, or have feeling in her hands for the day, but she looked fantastic.

Awesome bloody nurses from Silent Hill. I don't mean it in the English slang sense. I mean they're covered in blood.

The best option appears to be making a costume at home of your favorite character, and if you have a ridiculously oversized weapon, so much the better. Duct-taped and foil covered blades abound. If you have nothing in particular in mind, you can dress as a little Gothic Lolita dolly, but if you can't get that together, you can just throw on a kimono and cat ears and call it a day. If you are dressed as a gothic lolita, other Lolitas will recognize you as one of them, and they will give you candy and tell you where stuff is.


The adorable fourteen year old on the right told me she was in love with a guy dressed as Jack Sparrow, (left) and that she had been to a doll meetup, where you introduce your doll to other dolls.

Fun* Facts about Sakura-con:


There is roughly a 30% overlap between Anime watchers and Furries.

A good rule of thumb on cosplay is: the larger you are, the smaller your costume should be. Don't worry about wearing a corset that cantilevers your breasts into trembling, flat tapioca puddings. That appears to be the desired effect.


Attendees at Club Sakura can't dance to anything below 240 BPM, because they are limited to conga lines and jumping up and down.


A casual attendee might think that they would enjoy singing karaoke, but when you gets there, it will all be in Japanese, so give up. I sort of know the Ranma 1/2 song, and that's not gonna cut it.

Dance, Dance, Revolution goes 24 hours a day, which is the only way to be sure you'll get a turn.

People will line up to play console games that they played at home yesterday, because they can do it with other people.

Otaku, or obsessive nerd, is not an insult- it's a goal.

Any 24 hour nerd event will degenerate into games of Hearts eventually.

Kid Whatever rules Club Sakura.

50% of people attending Cosplay events in their teens will be going to S&M conventions in their forties.

Dancing doesn't count if it doesn't involve glowsticks.

(*= I made them up. Mostly.)