There Ain't No Sanity Clause

Well, I'm about to be three years old- This May 25th is my third anniversary in stand-up. That's not much in the world of comedy, but it's as much as I've ever done. It has gotten me many things, such as being recognized at Montage and at Chaos Cafe. I was having a few sincere thoughts about it, and would like to offer you, dear reader, some completely unsolicited advice.
When I was new, I got laughs by accident, or by luck. I got superstitious about it. The first time I had a good set at an open mike, I never wanted to go back and "ruin" it.
A lot of new comics dwell on and overanalyze their first set, their second set, and it doesn't really matter. They say, I bombed, or I killed, and neither one is true. You're not good enough to bomb. You got lucky. The first time a person gets up to do stand-up, it might be interesting, it might be funny, it might be good writing- but it won't be great stand-up. There are too many microskills that need to be formed. You just have to do it again and again. The good news is that taking a microphone out of a stand 100 times makes for some pretty slick karaoke.
Truly bombing is a gift- if you can survive a room hating you thoroughly, then you know that nothing can be worse than that, and you can get past it.
Where I am now: I can get laughs pretty consistently. It's still like a magic trick, I don't know quite how it's done but I can do it. I found my old notebook and started using material that I had abandoned, because it didn't used to work, and I can make it work now, can better communicate the funny to the audience.

Here is some of the best of the many pieces of advice that more skilled comics have given me:

- Don't disengage between jokes, keep eye contact with the audience.

- The longer the setup, the bigger the laugh needs to be at the punch.

- Write a hundred jokes on a premise and cut down to what works.

- Try to match the crowd's energy. Don't scream at a mellow room, or whisper to an excited, party room.

And my advice is:

The first mistake every comic makes is: Talking too fast. Slow down.
The second mistake is different for everyone. You'll figure it out.

What I've Been Doing Lately

Last Wednesday, I took a trip to the beautiful reservation in Warm Springs, OR and the Kahneeta Casino and Resort. It was so quiet, and so beautiful, and I got to spend four whole hours there until I had to hit the road back to Portland. I've been through the desert on a horse with no name, but it felt good to be out of the rain. Susan Rice and I enjoyed rocking the Appaloosa Lounge, where they were pretty surprised that two women could both be funny.

This is "the gang" at Headers, the bar Dax Jordan and I performed at in Selma, OR on Saturday night. And when I say "The Gang", I don't mean the regulars- this was an actual motorbike gang. At Pop 1800, the birthplace of American Idol participant Kristy Lee Cook doesn't have a Taco Bell but it does have something called the Raw Claw, pictured in the back left here.
Close-up on some of the contents of the Raw Claw. My favorite was a DVD called "Who's The Bitch Now?" It serves as the town's main gambling opportunity and adult bookstore.
I got a tip jar, I got a shot at the Raw Claw, I got a lot of attention from a drunk cryptozoologist who claimed to be a former member of Arizona metal band Surgical Steel. Dr. B, if this was you, drop a line! In the morning, I used the most picturesque highschool track I had ever seen- the track used by the Grants Pass Cavemen, which is surrounded by white-capped mountains. Nobody here understands how incredible mountains are, or that I left Portland, drove through sun, snow, rain, and sleet in two hours.

Don't Be A Berkeley Hunt

So, this is a fact that a lotta people don't know and I'm gonna try to work into my segment in the fine feature film, I'm Vegan.:
In Cockney Rhyming slang,
"I'm going to the Fatboy Slim" means "I'm going to the gym."
To call someone a "Berk" is short for "Berkely Hunt", which rhymes with something that is the reason why the Mighty Boosh can never be shown in prime time in England, because the inoffensive-sounding "berk" is slang for something very dirty.
In cockney, to say something is Kevin Keegan, the legendary footballer and coach, means that something is vegan. Keegan himself is not free of animal products, and also if one were to cannibalize him, that would not be considered Keegan.

I took a picture of this sign at work, which makes me laugh but doesn't make anyone else laugh. I think it's Eddie. (eddie money=funny.)

Bridgetown Comedy Festival!

Be on the lookout Monday for announcements of some of the biggest names in this year's Bridgetown Comedy Festival, which is taking place April 23-26!

If you had a good time last year, you're going to want to get your tickets early for this year. We've got twice the venues, twice the performers, and five or six times the fun, give or take. The 2009 lineup includes more performers from all over the country, more podcasts, variety shows, sketch and video, and even a cast reunion of a cult classic Adult Swim show!

Stay tuned!

http://www.bridgetowncomedyfestival.com/

follow Bridgetown Comedy Festival on Twitter at:

http://twitter.com/bridgetown

Postscript: Jumpin' Jon Glaser, this is a great line up!

The 2009 Bridgetown performers include:
Janeane Garofalo (24, Wet Hot American Summer, SNL)
David Koechner (Anchorman, SNL, The 40 Year Old Virgin, The Office)
Maria Bamford (Comedians of Comedy, Tom Goes to the Mayor)
Reggie Watts (Andy Kaufman Award-winner)
Neil Flynn (Scrubs, Mean Girls)
Brendon Small (Home Movies, Metalocalypse)
Tig Notaro (Last Comic Standing, Comedy Central Presents)
Ron Lynch (Home Movies, Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!)
Jon Benjamin (Human Giant, Important Things with Demetri Martin)
Jon Glaser (Delocated, Human Giant, Late Night with Conan O'Brien)
Chris Hardwick (Comedy Central Presents, Attack of the Show)
Mike Phirman (Comedy Central Presents: Hard 'n' Phirm)
Pete Holmes (Best Week Ever, Premium Blend)
Leo Allen (Comedy Central Presents, SNL)
Todd Glass (Last Comic Standing, Comedy and Everything Else)
Hannibal Buress (The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson)
Matt Braunger (MadTV, The Late Show with David Letterman)
Kyle Kinane (Last Call with Carson Daly)
Natasha Leggero (Reno: 911!, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia)
James Adomian (Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay)
Jen Kirkman (Chelsea Lately, Acceptable TV)
Brody Stevens (Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel Live!)
Jackie Kashian (Comedy Central Presents)
Jimmy Dore (Citizen Jimmy, Comedy and Everything Else)
Dave Hill (Dave Hill Explosion, Variety's "10 Comics to Watch")
Kumail Nanjiani (Unpronounceable)
Will Franken (SF Weekly "Best Comedian")
Andy Blitz (Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Human Giant)
Josh Fadem (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia)
Steve Agee (The Sarah Silverman Program)
Guys With Feelings (Jason Nash, Jeff Bumgarner)
The Sound of Young America
Monsters of Podcasting
Auggie Smith (Live at Gotham)
Ron Osborne (The Ron Osborne Show)
Susan Rice (Comedy Central's Stand Up! Stand Up!)
Rylee Newton (Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Premium Blend)
Jonah Ray (Saul of the Molemen)
Brent Weinbach (Andy Kaufman Award-winner)
Nikki Glaser (Last Comic Standing)
Jon Dore (The Jon Dore Show, Canadian Idol)
Dan Cummins (Live at Gotham, Comedy Central Presents)
Rory Scovel (Live at Gotham, Sweet Haven)
Hari Kondabolu (Live at Gotham, Jimmy Kimmel Live!)
David Cope (Sweet Haven)
Kevin Hyder (People's Republic of Komedy)
Andy Haynes (People's Republic of Komedy, Sweet Haven)
Scott Moran (People's Republic of Komedy, Sweet Haven)
Alex Koll (Boomtime)
Mary Van Note (Comedy, Darling)
Moshe Kasher (Boomtime, Smug Shift)
Bucky Sinister (All Blacked Out & Nowhere To Go)
Daniel Carroll (People's Republic of Komedy)
Richard Bain (Decision Makers Penthouse)
The Famous Mysterious Actor Show

...plus dozens more, including top comics from the Pacific Northwest!