We're Old Gregg!

For anyone looking for an Old Gregg costume, here's what I used:
1. Swamp Queen wigs (dreaded up and all funkay)
2. American Apparel lame leggings (hologram gold looks best)
3. Petticoats
4. White Boots
5. White ties
6. Black button-down shirts
7. Silver jackets with fishing lures sewn on
8. Black, red, and green makeup (sounds Christmasy, but isn't)
9. LCD lights attached to jock straps
10. White Gloves, and I made green fishy hands
11. And of course, Bailey's!

PIZZAZZ, where is thy STING?

I had the most fun ever last night not winning anything (except the hearts of the audience) in the sold-out Mercury Pizzazz talent show, thank you so much for attending if you were in attendance. Here is some behind-the-scenes gossip:
1. After the first act, the stagehands were walkie-talking each other about the vast amounts of unicorn blood that had to be mopped up.
2. One of CJ's dolls was a replacement from that very week, speaking to the hard work and talent involved!
3. The question that everyone has about Diamond Motion's Madison is answered by the phrase: stuffing and wig tape.
4. White Stripes and Arcade Fire be damned, the music that rocks Portland is by Miss Bonnie Tyler, whose Total Eclipse of the Heart and Holding Out For A Hero opened and closed the show, respectively.
5. The song I used in my tap routine is the subtle and hilarious Hell, by Angel Corpus Christi.
Congratulations to acrobatic masters KAZUM for their second-place winnings of $500 and a pile of street cred! It was an amazing moment when the #1 spot was given to a breakdancing act, because of the rush of hot air BOOOs flowing over the stage-
Although we did not get to watch the show in the green room, as I understand it, this broken and bloody apocalyptic unicorn was ROBBED, being the crowd favorite who didn't win:

A sad story, indeed!

I've Got Pizzazz!

I got the shoulder tap today confirming that I will be competing in the Portland Mercury Talent Show, PIZZAZZ, on Friday, October 26th at the Wonder Ballroom. I know that a fire dancer/stripper/bike activist will win, so I am free to relax and have fun with it. I think what swung them on my entry was the fact that while Jerry Lewis used to incorporate tap dance and comedy, no-one has ever done both in a dolly outfit. I have been slyly advised that people with cheering sections sway judging. If only I had one of those...

Where: The Wonder Ballroom, 124 NE Russell
When: Friday, October 26, 7PM Doors
How: $10 tickets available at the door, or onsale now at the Wonder Ballroom and all Ticketmaster locations
Who: YOU and a group of Portland's most fantastic and bizarre entertainers

Claims to Infamy

Although it is a couple of years old, I think this rendering of myself and my spouse at the center of the party in the pages of Opi8 is worth sharing. I am depicted as my own midgetized version, but the dancing and haircut are spot on. Spouse is the tall fellow who looks like himself. Also pictured are author Tait B. on the left-hand side of the bottom panel, New York's Billy K on the right at top, and the gentleman on the far left is Damian Ramsay, who left us last April but would have been 29 on October 28th.

Curiouser and Curiouser...

I have a tiny hand

In a world of increasingly obscure and specific gigs, I am excited to report a real doozy. I will be performing at the second annual Oregon Women's Comedy Festival on Saturday, November 3rd in Eugene, OR, so I am pressuring you to attend if at least two of below are true:

1. You are a woman

2. You like funny things

3. You live near Eugene.

I'm very excited to be asked, if only to share the roster with former Oregonian Lisa Myers and the always hilarious Susan Rice, and I've been told that if I'm good, there's the very real possibility that I'll get a t-shirt with my name on it. Let's face it, I'm easy. The festival includes writing workshops and a comedy show on the campus of Lane Community College.

If you don't qualify on the above three, please do plan to come cheer for me at the Portland Mercury's PIZZAZZ talent show on Friday, October 26th! I can guarantee you: you've never seen anything quite like my act, unless you can see into my dreams.

In other news, I am excited to announce that the amazing Susan Rice is a finalist in the Lucky 21 contest at http://www.ziddio.com/. Please sign up, click on "contests", check out her comedy and vote vote vote until October 21st!

The Challenge of Old Gregg!

It has come to my attention, through the science of hit tracking, that someone else on the interweb is also planning on dressing as The Mighty Boosh's Old Gregg for Halloween. I'm hoping that you'll stumble across this page again and will pick up my dropped white-glove gauntlet: Please send me pictures of your completed Old Gregg costume, and if it beats mine, I'll send you a bottle of (what else?) Bailey's Irish Cream. I'd love to have a gallery of Greggs. If you're looking for pre-Halloween inspiration, here's a very cute (American!) girl Old Gregg.

To the uninitiated, Old Gregg is a cross-dressing mer-man hermaphrodite. He's a Rick James with a slightly fishy odor. He's got a downstairs mix-up and an itch for disco. He's Old Gregg!

Postscript: OK, you scaly man-fish, you modern gentlemen, I can see you cyber- surfing my waters. 20 people looking for information on Old Gregg costumes today alone! Don't be shy, add a comment and tell me about your Gregg plans, motherlicker!

I'm gonna hurt you.

I like you.

Ok, now I'm getting 60 hits a day based on looking for Old Gregg costumes. They have been sold to people who I hope will enjoy them! Here is my collection of Old Greggs from ALL OVER THE INTERNET- enjoy!

Party at Ground Zero!

I don't know how many of my readers are from Medford, Oregon, but I'm headed out for what promises to be a stupendous road gig with headliner Keith Wallan tomorrow night, Friday, October 5th, at club Ground Zero!
Keith Wallan works in wordplay, observational humor and cussing. He's the last bastion of sanity in a world gone insane.

Virginia Jones has never been to Medford. She's funnier than Bill Hicks, John Belushi, and Gilda Radner put together. In fact, she's funnier than all dead people.

They are both left-handed Capricorns and they're the same height. This is a love note to everyone in Jackson County- come out and see us tomorrow!

Ground Zero*123 S Front St* Medford, OR*(541) 779-4827

Postscript: I am distressed at Ground Zero's lack of web presence, which in my book means that it does not exist, but I found a clipping from the MailTribune for this night, and it really says it all!

"Comedians Keith Wallen(sic) and Virginia Jones will perform at 9 p.m. Friday, Oct. 5, at Ground Zero, 123 S. Front St. Admission to the show costs $5 and includes a buffet-style dinner."