Comedian Photoshopped Out Of Gender!

Everyone knows that Hollywood values youth and beauty over all things, even over 30 years of experience as a stand-up, writer, and comic actor, but I was sorry to see that Dana Carvey's Myspace headshot has been Photoshopped into a plain but hard-working co-ed majoring in Women's Studies and minoring in Black and White Photography.

The REVENGE of the RETURN of the FAMOUS MYSTERIOUS ACTOR!

After some false starts, broken promises, and crocodile tears, the Famous Mysterious Actor troupe has re-formed in the firey forge of the Bridgetown Comedy Festival, where their antics alternately amused and confused attendees. I am proud to leak on the Internet that they are staging an amazing comeback at Berbati's Pan on June 4th! If you are not aware of the magic of this project, please look here, here, and here- oh what the hell, look here as well...
And I hope to see you there next week!

Postscript: AWESOME show featuring Mayor-Elect Sam Adams and Portland hip-hop legend CoolNutz- the next show is at Berbati's on August 6th!

Informative Signage

Street signs can tell you a lot of things- to stop or slow down, that animals may cross the street, and which turning direction is less likely to get you killed. However, this is the first time that a road sign has taken the time to let me know that bloodsucking ghouls are real.
Thanks, NW Natural! I'll keep an eye out!

Postscript: Apparently, math has disproved the existence of vampires. Which is why vampires hate math!

Sad Anniversary.

Today is the 28th anniversary of the day that Ian Curtis watched the comedy, Werner Hertzog's Stroszek, and hitched a ride to the hereafter, thereby turning an influential band into a successful one. I keep trying to cheer him up, but as a dead goth, it's pretty hard.

Unwilling Doppelganger!

Here's the poster at that led to middle-aged ladies to whisper to their friends "she's one of the comeeeedians" when I was in the bathroom at Three Rivers Casino.
We had a good time playing for a sold-out ballroom, and only one of us was asked to cover her bodacious chest, because it was a wholesome, family gambling and drinking environment and not a common brothel. What she was wearing would not raise an eyebrow in Portland, and of course in her home state of California it would have been considered formal wear. We remarked that no-one had talked to us about dress code since highschool. However, we still had a great show.
Now, some time ago it was remarked to me that I look like Kristen Schaal, the cute and extremely funny Mel from Flight of the Conchords. I don't agree, merely because she has curly hair and I have my own chin.
But I guess it's a little true, because no fewer than five people asked if I had been on the Daily Show recently. I don't see it, but maybe I could get work as a Schaal understudy or body double, especially if she found herself eating a lot of cookies.

Furry Fans

Recently Tivo recorded a film for me based on my interest in arty stuff and Robert Downey, Jr., and so I watched a movie I'd never heard of called Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus. The main message that I took away from this film, loosely based on a book based on a rumor based on the photographer's life, is:

Q: How can one discover one's own artistic voice and vision?

A. To truly discover oneself as an artist, but one must befriend, fully shave, make love to, assist the suicide of, and then wear a coat made from the hair of, a dog-faced boy.

Q. Do you mean that metaphorically? Like, broaden your horizons?

A. No. I mean it literally. Go find yourself a dog-faced boy.

Q. Okay...thanks.

It was weird, and coming from me that's saying a lot.

Mother's Day Comedy!

This weekend, I'm doing shows for two different kinds of "family"- Friday night I am at C.C. Slaughter's, headlining and lording it over Gabe Dinger, Cody Smith, Casey Kendall, and Cody Cooper, with the very funny, very foxy Veronica Heath hosting. It's free and starts at 9! Check out the interesting ad in the Portland Mercury, page 41!

On Saturday, anyone with a mother should come down to Three Rivers Casino for a spectacular show of family-friendly laughs, including the legendary Susan Rice, hilarious Lisa Myers, the funny song stylings of the Free-Range Chix, and comedy writer and performer Leigh Anne Jasheway-Bryant!

Postscript: Despite the fact that it had nothing to do with me, I was thrilled to hear that this show has sold out and has 50 people on a waiting list! I know it's all about Lady Susan Rice!

Ain't No Party Like A Birthday Party!

Although I work hard at keeping this page from being of any real use to anyone, I wanted to let you know that Nick Cave tickets are on sale today for a show at the Crystal Ballroom for Monday, September 22nd. Aww! Nick's spending his birthday with us! Reasons to love Nick Cave:

* He's so goth, he wore flip-flops on Ron & Fez radio and was STILL goth.
* He has had amazing rock-n-roll hair for 30 years. Unfortunately, now all his promo shots are cropped at the temples.
* Dig, Lazarus, Dig is a record that makes other middle-aged rockers cower in shame.
* He wrote the story and soundtrack for the incredible and bloody cowboy movie, The Proposition.
* He did the soundtrack for another great movie, The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford, and did a cameo as- wait for it- a musician.
* He's also doing the soundtrack to the film of Cormac McCarthy's book, The Road.
* He wants to be a cowboy, and you can be his cowgirl.

An alert reader sent in an NPR article on Nick!