Thursday, February 26, 2009

DRACSEARCH: If Google Was Dracula!


Gother than Google.

More sinister than Alta Vista.

Dracsearch.

postscript: If you are curious about the meaning, purpose, and legitimacy of Dracsearch, there probably is none. However, it is invented by Jon Glaser and Tom Scharpling in the second half of this radio transmission: here. The whole show is very funny, but the Dracsearch backstory starts at 01:30:00.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Robyn Hitchcock Wants To Go Backwards


OK, I like to stop in to the Museum of Robyn Hitchcock from time to time, and there's always interesting stuff going on. Last time I was there, they had a flyer with a premade font, and my mind was kind of blown- the font was based on Robyn's handwriting off the back of record albums, and it is called Fegmania! and you can get it here. But when an artist, or someone representing an artist, can find a font based on their handwriting to use on the internet- I don't know, doesn't it make you feel like your head is going back into your navel and you're being reborn?

Thursday, February 19, 2009

More Things Nobody Cares About!

My friend Sul witnessed me riding around and around in the parking lot this morning, trying to hit 10K so I could take a picture in the daylight. She laughed at me and threw an empty pop can at my head, and I deserve it. Still and all, I hit 10K today, a little under three years after I hit 2K. Aw, go ride a bike!

Thursday, February 05, 2009

The Continued Adventures of Dr. Spaceman!

Postscript: Dr. Spaceman donned their scrubs and surgical masks, and with the assistance of 5th Spaceman Kris Lutsock, who is on the Famous Mysterious Actor crew, took the win in last night's Trivia Titans contest! It was touch and go for awhile, with two tie-breaker questions- the answer to the final question was Steven Patrick Morrissey, so I felt at that time that we were born to win.

This year, my compatriots and I have become increasingly obsessed with the excellent, multi-colored, ridiculous and divine trivia of the Shan-Rock Empire. We started going as a joke and as an excuse to eat french fries in a basement, but we accidentally won a few times and things got weird. Our team includes Andy Wood, who is founder and chief operational officer of the Bridgetown Comedy Festival, and Rylee Newton, former Hollywood Squares writer and Jimmy Kimmel guest, myself, a tap-dancer, comic, and fighter, and my spouse, whom I make drive me around and tell me childhood stories about the Hundred Years War.

For awhile, our team was named after various things from 30 Rock, the best living television show, including MILF Island, Never Follow A Hippie To A Second Location, and Every Week Is Shark Week, until another group that had used Werewolf Bar Mitzvah threatened to drop us like jive turkeys in the parking lot, so now we have settled on Dr. Spaceman, the physician who warns Tracey Jordan that bread is a silent killer and that science is whatever we want it to be.

Team Facts:
Team Leader: Andy Wood, A.K.A. The Cute Beatle- Science and Sports
Historian: Thom Jones-because he was there. Also, elf-related triv.
Arts and Stuff About What The Japanese Eat: Virginia Jones
Television, Film, And Weirdness: Rylee Newton
Team Motto: "Let Go and Let Garp"
Favorite Question Type: Natalie Portmanteaux
Members Most Likely To Dance Obnoxiously In Order To Annoy Other Members: Thom and Virginia Jones
Skee-Ball Specialist: Virginia Jones/Rylee Newton (shared duties)
Favorite Movie: All Coen Brothers Except The Ladykillers
Favorite I Don't Feel Tardy Song: The Strangler's Peaches
Special Team Trivia: 100% of Dr. Spaceman is blue-eyed
Our Nemesis Team: There are other Teams?

It all comes down to the finals this weekend, the Clash of the Trivia Titans at 5PM on Sunday. We may come back winners. We may come back losers. But we will come back...men. At least, those of us who were men to begin with.

Wish us luck! We'll need it!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

It Can No Longer Be Said That I Am Not Famous

My name was mentioned in the Albany Democrat Herald for a benefit I'm hosting with Kermet Apio and the always-funny Dax Jordan in Sweet Home, OR!

Postscript: I was approached after the show by a lady who said, "Can I get your picture? I'm not stalking you, I'm with the newspaper!" and I said, Oh, sure, anything for the Albany Democrat Herald! And she said, oh, I'm with the Sweet Home New Era. So I kicked her in the teeth.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Really a pretty bad time all around

My Jetta is being questioned in an attempted double murder.


If any family members are interested in me saying not very much on television, here is a clip of Thom commenting on our neighbors, one of whom has shot the other two. Allegedly. Check it out here.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Duck, Duck, Annihilation

Well, it's not the first time a duck designed for suicide has made its way around the internet.

Well, maybe it is. It does remind me of one of my friend John Freeman's dozens of bands, Duck, Duck, Annihilation- see a loving write-up of the Freeman phenomenon on Direct Hit Records, here.

As to complaints that the duck is too well-built to actually electrocute, (this is one product that never considered hiring a customer service staff) please consider either of the two easy backup options, given that you could hang yourself with the cord OR in dire straits, eat the duck, which if you are any kind of celebrity or known entity will result in a six month period where the phrase 'eat a duck' will be hipster shorthand for any suicide, which will confuse the heck out of people in food sales.
Eventually, it will end up in Cockney rhyming slang as a euphemism for sexual intercourse, which everything is.

P.S. Mom, I'm sorry my posts have been on a bummer lately. I'll try to be more "up" in the spring, I promise!

Friday, January 09, 2009

Behind the Mask: The Famous Mysterious Actor Exposed!



For those of you wondering about the shadowy whereabouts of the Famous Mysterious Actor in between his show being pulled from Lippman's and resurfacing at Berbati's, here is an informative clip.

Additional World Domination: The Famous Mysterious Actor is featured in Dark Horse Presents' latest issue! See it HERE!

The World Is Changing! Ask Per Mo How!

Peroxide Mocha are all about love. The love between a boy and a girl (but not in THAT way) and the love of that boy and that girl for music - love that has seen them through highschool, poor jobs, better jobs, military service, competition level video game playing, inter-state relocation, being cool, being uncool, being completely beyond caring what is cool or uncool any more and many, many other adventures that have got them to this, the eleventh year of their existence as a band. And through all of this, Pete and Rachel - for they are Peroxide Mocha - have created a series of home-made records that sound like nobody else, and which have winged their way around the world through post and internet and recommendation into the collection of a diverse and loving set of fans.

Pete and Rachel met in highschool in Sequim, Washington State, in 1997 and recorded their first EP that very same week; after rejecting names like Salmon-Cherry Casserole and Don’t Touch My Moustache, they decided on Peroxide Mocha, and a musical era began. Their creative gelling was total from the beginning and quickly led to the album Sit Down And Wait To Be Seated the following year. Vital Peroxide Mocha themes were mapped out there, including sex, drugs, sarcasm, Japanese confectionery and what it's like to think someone is neat - themes that were to be developed over a series of albums that would fall together over the next few years each time Pete and Rachel managed to simultaneously find time in their tangled-up lives to sit down for a short while, fire up the PC and let the songs pop out.

Though Pete's quirky beats and Rachel's nonchalant but moving and often gut-tuggingly funny lyrics were limited at first by the simple fact that neither had any idea whatsoever how a record should be made, people who heard the results of their work tended to love it, and to play it to yet more people. The duo discovered that there were kindred spirits all over the world - people who think pocky is important and recycling is funny; people who got such a collective crush on the music that each new Peroxide Mocha album has now become a keenly-anticipated event for that small but very lovely club of people who Know.

Which brings us to Making Out With Strangers. Now in their 11th year as a band, Pete and Rachel are older, wiser and a bit more educated in how a record should be made - but they are still as nonchalant and natural as ever, and have managed to avoid building any desire to sound like anyone other than Peroxide Mocha. So while the sounds on this record might be a bit tougher, a bit slicker, the kind of thing that electro and eclectic DJs all over the world will find perfect for rocking a wide variety of dancefloors with, this is still the Peroxide Mocha we all love, the Peroxide Mocha who remind us that the tiny details of life can be stranger and more important than we'd imagined, that horrible things can be funny and funny things can be horrible, and that the word "frigidaire" deserves pride of place in the construction of popular songs. This is Peroxide Mocha, and they bring you love.

swiped from their CD Baby Write-up!

Monday, January 05, 2009

My Favorite Emotionally Damaged Things To Do On The Internet

Peroxide Mocha ponder the fragility of our existence.

1. Flickr-snooping: I like to look at picture sets of friend's parties that I was not invited to. Alternate Name:*Snort* THAT hors d'oeuvre does not look very delicious.

2. Ex-Boyfriend-Googling: A classic, although I was sad to find that an ex had killed himself. Breaking up *is* hard to do.

3. Find My Own Death Announcements: When your name is Virginia, you die several times a month. My family's OK, really.

4. Myspace Hatin': Not possible on Facebook, which is why it is still inferior in my eyes. I don't want to be your friend, I just want to look at you and feel better that you don't want to talk to me ever again!

5. Taking mental illness quizzes: I know for certain that I do not have a shopping compulsion. Everything else depends on the day.
6. OTHER STALKING VARIATIONS: Now, we all stalk enemies and exes, because it's fun. But have you considered checking your own Youtube clip, obsessively, to see if people are watching/commenting on it? How about commenting on someone else's clip that you like, and then checking back to see if other people think you comment on something you thought was funny was ALSO funny?
How about writing a review of a product or service and checking on that, say, a hundred times? Just doing the cyber version of riding your bike past its house, all day- "Do other people love Kindle as much as I do? Do they like my parody song, Kindle in the Wind?"
It's a big Internet! Get creative! What else can we do with free time, a negative attitude, and a 3G connection?