Mama, There's a Dead Homosexual in My Mouth!

For some reason, I feel the need to keep my page updated on current grocery store products. I am now the proud owner of a new toothbrush that sings Queen's "We Will Rock You" to me for two minutes, the minimum amount that you should brush for optimum oral hygiene: Tooth Tunes.
The song plays *through the bristles and straight into your head cavity* with all the amazing surround-sound quality of an AM radio that comes in a pen. I wanted to brush well, because I have recently had my teeth shrink-wrapped like my grandmother's couch, to preserve them for future generations.
If Queen is not gay enough for you, the toothbrush also comes in YMCA flavor. Also, you can get a cover of Katrina and The Waves' "Walking on Sunshine", so every time your kid brushes his teeth, the bass player from the Soft Boys gets a nickel for writing it.

If I were to pick a Soft Boys song for an electric toothbrush to play, it would be this one.
The Soft Boys – Positive Vibrations

Very strange postscript: After a couple of weeks of using my Queen toothbrush, my teeth are sparkling clean, and hearing "We will Rock You" makes me think about brushing my teeth.