So, I like my teeth so much, I recently had them Saran-Wrapped to keep them nice for company. Really, I hate them so much, I got clear braces. I'm only on my third set, and already a buck tooth is sliding in line next to his friend, millimeter by millimeter. It's scientific! It doesn't hurt, but it feels like an elevator full of people pushing up against each other, and some of them have inappropriate erections. Another interesting side effect is that many people I mention my braces to immediately tell me about the flaws they hate in their own teeth, many of which I barely noticed. However, if you see me in real life and notice that I'm lisping or spitting, that could be why. Or it could be that I'm a gay cobra.
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